What Type of Leader Are You?
In a meeting with a senior leader who is questioning me or pushing back, I would
cave in and not pursue my argument
see how I could agree with the senior leader
justify my position (but inside be kind of angry I'm being questioned and maybe criticize myself for not knowing every angle on what is being asked)
believe I know enough to stand my ground, persevere until I have made my best point, and feel confident about my participation
When it comes to ASKING for promotion/salary/fees/resources/introductions/appointments with senior people, I
holdback from asking or ask for less than I should
try to get them to think well of me, hint at what I want and hope they offer it to me
ask, but do so with a lot of emotional churn about whether I deserve it and whether I’ve been fairly recognized
ask for the full degree of what I want and feel deserving of getting it
My preparation for an upcoming important meeting might look like:
I might procrastinate a bit getting started
I will prepare a lot and think about how I can share everything I learned or did (so I come across helpful and smart)
I overprepare or re-do details repeatedly until I feel I know everything, even if the time cuts into my life balance
I figure out what role I need to play in the meeting, prepare accordingly, and feel a bit nervous but ready
If I receive an email from someone asking why I haven’t done something, I
might get mad or take it personally, but I wouldn't say anything to avoid conflict
immediately apologize or try to make it better with them, so they won’t be ‘mad at me’
take it personally or get defensive (perhaps I’d write an email explaining I did all that was asked)
stay calm, and fact based; assume they were under pressure, and write back with next steps about the project or suggestions how we could better keep everyone updated
When it comes to making tough decisions, I
hedge a little so I keep my options open
spin my wheels deciding, and ask other people's input to help me decide
probably overthink it
make a decision with the information I have, and trust it will work out or I can course correct if it doesn't go well
If offered a next level opportunity I would
hedge my response, take a little while to consider it out of concern I wasn't fully ready (easier to stay in my comfort zone)
take the opportunity, if it was made clear that key people thought I was ready
want to go for it because I feel I should be further ahead; I would ask a lot of questions about the details and only say yes if I felt sure I could succeed at it
say yes and figure out a way to ‘make it work’ because I trust that I can learn whatever is needed and I love a challenge and taking risk
When I am working on a project, my private self talk might include:
fearing that I might make a mistake
hoping that they will think (and tell me) I did a good job
judging and criticizing myself, thinking that it’s not perfect (and it needs to be perfect)
thinking about what needs to be done for the project, not thinking about how it relates to me
After I just finished giving a great presentation to a group of people, I would
try to hide from the key players so I don’t say anything that detracts from the already good impression I gave in the presentation
try to subtly ‘fish’ for a compliment to see if I did well
glad at my performance but review in my mind (or even mention to others) the flaws
enjoy talking with people and assume that 'no news' about the presentation is good news
We have to play politics in my organization. I try to
do good work, hide/avoid political situations as much as possible and not stick my neck out
strategize to highlight my accomplishments in front of the right people so they know my work
work hard to get results; I'd likely take the behavior personally or judge other people for the way they play "politics"
focus on the work not the noise about the work, let my actions speak for themselves, and try to respond in a way that includes and collaborates with others
If someone says ‘no’ to a request, I would
put off following up to ask again and ask again only if I get indication they would be open to it
ask again but, apologize for bothering them
spend energy figuring out if their saying no had something to do with me or not (its possible I might criticize them in my mind for being stingy)
assume it was a ‘not now’ and plan how ask again in the future
Regarding bold ideas, I would
hesitate to share bold or untested ideas in case they don’t work
ask a lot of people for input and reassurance before putting forth the ideas
focus on executing the ideas I’m working on now because I’m good at it and I don’t know if I’ll be successful offering bolder ideas
be fearless and offer bold ideas, assuming we can find a way to make them work
When I make a mistake I
try to hide the mistake and do anything I can to cover it up
try to do something as soon as possible to get people to think well of me again
beat myself up for making the mistake, “I should have been able to do better”
put the mistake in perspective of my overall contribution, make sure to learn from it
When having a disagreement with someone who has a strong energy I;
go along with what their point is, to end the conflict
get intimidated by them; go along with what they say; get down on myself that I was wrong
emotionally react and get defensive; criticize myself for being wrong (and possibly blame them for acting that way)
stay calm, focus on facts, and stand my ground until the 'argument' is completed
In my self-talk I
worry that people will criticize me
try to figure out how I can do things to get other people to approve of me and appreciate me
criticize myself and then tell myself I should lower my self-criticism and get more confident
feel generally confident as I go throughout my day
When it comes to my own self care, I
try to make time for it but sometimes I waste time and can't always follow through
am so busy saying yes and doing favors for others I often don't make time for myself or for exercise
push myself so much to deliver that I'm exhausted so I will usually try to fit it in last (and I also may be exhausted because it is hard to turn off my head to sleep)
know I have to take care of myself to sustain everyone else so I build my schedule around a few key self-care behaviors (maybe yoga, a trainer, sleep schedule)
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